he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
