Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
