well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Randomize
