We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
