Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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