end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
