Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
