how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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