just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
