Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
