So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
