i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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