Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
