Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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