I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
