Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
