New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
