So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
