FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
