I'm jealous of your bromance
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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