You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
