I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
