She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
