Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
