we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I need moral support for this bender
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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