Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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