Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
