Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
