Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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