If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm really busy with my period
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