is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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