In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
