there was a trapeze. enough said
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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