Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
