What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Congratulations! We have a period
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
