Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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