She is in my trunk
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
