sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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