By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
