bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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