At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
