I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
