You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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