If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
