All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
