Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
