dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
