Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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