Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
