I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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